To the Mother Hoping to Get Pregnant

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I do know you promised your self that you just would not take the being pregnant take a look at early this time, that you’d wait. 

However I do know you snuck into the toilet whereas he was sleeping, simply you and the field calling your identify within the early morning darkish. 

I do know you held your breath when the fluid moved throughout the display, that your coronary heart beat wildly throughout your chest when that first line appeared, that you just swore that you just began to see the darkening of that tell-tale second line. 

I do know you imagined your future in these breathless minutes, that you just calculated due dates, and ticked over registries and milestones and graduations and first steps and visits from the tooth fairy in your thoughts. 

I do know that you just cried, on their own, if you did not see what you had been hoping, when that second line by no means got here, regardless of how a lot you squinted and scrutinized and tilted to get a greater angle. 

I do know. 

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Picture through Flickr/ Vanessa Porter

I do know that month after month seems like the identical wrestle, the wrestle between attempting to have hope however not getting your hopes up. 

I do know that some days, you possibly can’t consider you’ve got grow to be this particular person, that you just by no means thought it will be this fashion, that it does not appear truthful. I do know that you just wince on the child bathe invites, regardless that you catch your self each time, that you just remind even your self that you’re pleased for them, you actually are and that it is OK to let it sting for a minute. 

I do know that it wears on him too, that you’re each harassed and tense and that previous adage of how child is born, “When two individuals fall in love …” hurts a bit as a result of it is virtually sarcastically laughable to assume that you just as soon as thought it will be that easy for you too, is not it?

I do know that this expertise has modified you, regardless of the place your journey will lead you, and I do know you’ll take a look at life differently perpetually now. And I do know that if sometime, you do maintain your little one in your arms, you’ll always remember the girl you as soon as had been, the girl who hoped and prayed and cried and longed to grow to be a mom, month after month. 

And I do know that it’s best to always remember her as a result of she is part of you and part of your story, it doesn’t matter what your fortunately ever after appears like. 



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